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Found Purse

I called the Got-It Police Department the other day. I had found a purse full of money. Somebody must be worried sick, I though. Here is the exchange:

Officer Wright‑Awn: "Got‑It PD, Officer Wright‑Awn speaking. How may I assist you today?"

Me: "Officer, I found a purse. A big one. And it's full of money. Thousands of dollars."

Officer Wright‑Awn: "Thousands? Ma'am, thank you for your honesty. We appreciate citizens like you. Now, can you tell me where you found it?"

Me: "Right outside the big shopping center on the corner of Tickles and Fancy. I mean Pickles and Clancy, near Strikers... I'm not sure if that is a bowling alley or a union shop. Oh but, they have a lovely shop front."

Officer Wright‑Awn: "How many bills are there?"

Me: "I don't know there are about 25 bundles of $1.00, $5.00, $10.00, $20.00, $50.00, and bigger bills."

Officer Wright‑Awn: "Stay right where you are. I will send Officer Little-Patience out to retrieve it. Thank you, again, for your honesty."

Me: "You are welcome. It is only right to do. Oh, one more thing, dearie. The bills all have Monopoly on them and a little train and house in the corners. Oddest money I ever seen."

Officer Wright‑Awn: "Monopoly?"

Me: "Yes! Isn't that exciting? They must be new bills. I've never found this much money before."

Officer Wright‑Awn: (long exhale) "Ma'am, that's play money. You can keep it."

Me: "Oh! I can keep it?"

Officer Wright‑Awn: (laughing now, fully defeated) "Yes. Yes, ma'am. Enjoy your new found fortune of Monopoly money."

Me: "Thank you, Officer! I'm rich!"

Officer Wright‑Awn as he disconnected the call: "I am so glad I did not send Officer Little-Patience out to collect it."

End of report.

Officer Wright‑Awn was last seen rubbing his temples and whispering something about early retirement.